I’d planned to write a sequel of
“Lake People” this week, but my eldest took over my mind. My
first and my worst…
It’s flu season, again, and it’s
-really- bad this year. This sh!t can -kill- you! Doesn’t mean
kids didn’t take advantage of it, though. They have and they will.
Back in the old
days my eldest child learned how to “work it.” I mean the school
clinic system, and he did it well.
My eldest, Thing 1, had a “difficult”
digestive tract. If he ate fried catfish and followed it up with
milk he’d run a fever. His doctor and I were clueless as to why
this happened, but it happened every single time… Henderson’s
was his favorite restaurant. Go figure.
The child finally started elementary
school, but his “digestive” problems didn’t end there. He
learned if he drank milk, followed by fruit juice, he’d puke. Yes,
vomit. Everywhere. The cafeteria was his favorite place. And yes,
Mama got called to school each and every time to check her “sick”
child out. That would have been 4th or 5th
grade. Not that I didn’t have three others in the school, and
had to pick the rest of my crew two hours later... but…
After -months- of checking said child
out of school, and becoming good friends with the clinic nurse, my
kid finally got called out.
His dad picked him up from school, and
he was instantly -cured-!
No more “laying on the couch”
watching TV because you’re sick, or doing “chores” because
you’re faking it. “Boot Camp 101” hit the FAN. The results
were widespread and left a lasting impression. I’ll spare you the
details. Just use your imagination. With four little boys’ and
three bathrooms, there was never a lack of something to scrub.
Same kid, as a teenager (my mom might
-spank- me for this – I’ve never told her), decided to experiment
with mushrooms. Mama worked at a ranch, the ‘shrooms grew out of
cow poop, word gets out.. what can I say?
The thing about mushrooms is that you
can get worms from them. Thing 1 did.
I treated him just like I treated the
dogs’ back then. One piece of bread and one to three drops of
Ivermectin, depending on body size, for worms. He was bigger than my
big dog, so he got the whole three-drop dose.
He wasn’t happy for about a week.
The treatment wasn’t pleasant, but once it was done he was
worm-free, and he never dragged his butt on the carpet.