Communication is key to any relationship, be it spouses,
co-workers, employers, friends, family…Good communication makes a relationship survive and thrive.
I know that
“Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.”
That’s a communication challenge on any given day. No one told me that children are from a
galaxy far, far away. Thing 4 drove this
lesson home. You’d think with 3 others I
would have known better, but…
Thing 4, at
4 years old, started pre-k. He was a
good boy most of the time at home and at school, but a few months into the
school year he became a problem. He
became angry and belligerent, at home and at school. We, me and teachers alike, were completely
confused at his change in attitude.
It took
some significant sleuthing to finally determine the problem.
Thing 4’s
father decided to go back to flying for a living. Commercial pilot. This was a complete and total change for the
boys and their normal routines, and I became a “married, single mother.”
To keep the
boys informed of where there father was I built a special shelf and hung it in
the kitchen. There was a lip underneath
and I hid a window shade behind it to which I attached a U.S. map and a world map. There were plenty of post-it arrow-stickers
on the side and we labeled them with each FBO (flight base operator) their
father was flying into and out of. I
even had home marked on the map.
All was well and good until their
father had to go to Miami
for training on a Lear-something (I keep up with different planes like I do
cars, not at all.) Thing 4 became a
–very- angry little boy. His teacher and
I –both- had problems with his behavior.
He finally
got sent to the school counselor. WHAT a -RELIEF-!
Thing 4 was
angry because his father was in Miami
for a few weeks of training on a plane.
I showed him and his brothers every night where we where, and where Miami was. He deduced, being 4 years old and not capable
yet of comprehending geography or time, that there was a place called “Ami,” it
was “mine” and I sent his father there indefinitely.
Problem
understood, but not solved. That took a
couple years of growing up to rectify, but he finally –got- it!
Thing 4 is
now married with a daughter and another one on the way, and this is me,
laughing, because he finally left his own little galaxy and is learning how to
live in mine. “Adulting SUX!”